wrote ...

The Meaning of New Year's Resolutions
By Alex Epstein

Every New Year's Eve millions of Americans make New Year's
resolutions. Whether the resolution is to get out of debt, to spend
more time with loved ones, or to quit smoking, these resolutions have
one thing in common: they are goals to make our lives better.

Unfortunately, this ritual commitment to self-improvement is widely
viewed as something of a joke--in part because New Year's resolutions
go so notoriously unmet. After years of watching others--or
themselves--excitedly commit to a new goal, only to abandon the quest
by March, many come to conclude that New Year's resolutions are an
exercise in futility that should not be taken seriously. "The silly
season is upon us," writes a columnist for the Washington Post, "when
people feel compelled to remake themselves with new year's
resolutions."

But such a cynical attitude is false and self-destructive. Making New
Year's resolutions does not have to be futile--and to make them
is not silly; done seriously, it is an act of profound moral
significance that embodies the essence of a life well-lived.

Consider what we do when we make a New Year's resolution: we look at
where we are in some area of life, think about where we want to be,
and then set ourselves a goal to get there. We are tired of feeling
chubby and lethargic, say, and want the improved appearance and
greater energy level that comes with greater fitness. So we resolve to
take up a fun athletic activity--like tennis or a martial art--and
plan to do it three times a week.

Is this a laughable act of self-delusion? Hardly. If it were, then how
would anyone ever achieve anything in life? In fact, to make a New
Year's resolution is to recognize the undeniable reality that
successful goal-pursuit is possible--the reality that everyone at one
time or another has set and achieved long-range goals, and profited
from doing so. Indeed, not only is it possible to achieve long-range
goals, it is necessary for success in life. To make a New Year's
resolution is also to recognize the undeniable reality that rewarding
careers and romances do not just happen automatically--that to get
what we want in our lives, we must consciously choose and achieve the
right goals. We must be goal-directed.

Unfortunately, a goal-directed orientation is missing to a large
extent in too many lives. It is all too easy to live life passively,
acting without carefully deciding what one is doing with one's life
and why. How many people do you know who are in the career they fell
into out of school, even if it is not very satisfying--or who have
children at a certain age because that's what is expected, even if
it's not what they really want--or who spend endless hours of "free
time" in front of the TV, since that's the most readily available form
of relaxation--or who follow a life routine that they never really
chose and don't truly enjoy, but which has the force of habit?

Too often, the goal-directedness embodied by New Year's resolutions is
the exception in lives ruled by passively accepted forces--unexamined
routine, short-range desires, or alleged duties. It is the passive
approach to happiness that makes so many resolutions peter out, lost
in the shuffle of life or abandoned due to lost motivation. More
broadly than its impact on New Year's resolutions, the passive
approach to happiness is the reason that so many go through life
without ever getting--or even knowing--what they really want.

It is a sad irony that those who write off New Year's resolutions
because so many fail reinforces the passive approach to life that
causes so many resolutions--and so many other dreams--to fail. The
solution to failed New Year's resolutions is not to abandon the
practice, but to supplement it with a broader resolution--a commitment
to a goal-directed life.

This New Year's, resolve to think about how to make your life better,
not just once a year, but every day. Resolve to set goals, not just in
one or two aspects of life, but in every important aspect and in your
life as a whole. Resolve to pursue the goals that will make you
successful and happy, not as the exception in a life of passivity, but
as the rule that becomes second-nature.

If you do this, you will be resolving to do the most important thing
of all: to take your happiness seriously.