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MinorityCarrier

Thu Sept 03 2009, 08:19PM

Registered Member #2123 Joined: Sat May 16 2009, 03:10AM
Location: Bend, Oregon
Posts: 312

Oh, the insect metaphor. I grok....

WaveRider

Fri Sept 04 2009, 07:16AM

Registered Member #29 Joined: Fri Feb 03 2006, 09:00AM
Location: Hasselt, Belgium
Posts: 500

Bravo MinorityCarrier!!! You got it!!

LithiumLord

Fri Sept 04 2009, 04:53PM

Registered Member #1739 Joined: Fri Oct 03 2008, 10:05AM
Location: Moscow, Russia
Posts: 261

(old equipment fumctionality test) 'click' "Wonder when it blows" - "It never will" - *BANG!* - "See? I was right again!"

(ad agency installation maintanence brigade standing at the working site all set with a crane ordered and standing by): "You dare say the crane we ordered is reaching out there?" - "Not a chance" - (the crane ends up fully extended like 3 meters below) - "Woot! We are right! Now run before they notice."

"Gah, second shock so far!" - "Woot, 2:1! You are winning again."

"What's that thing we just ruined?" - "A PFC cap. Bet nobody cares so just stick the cover back on so nobody sees as well."

"Where's the damn ground short-circuit? Hey, swap those two wires" - "Ok" - *BOOM!* - "Swap again" - "Oh woah, it works!" - "Yeah, that's what I call a natural selection - everything damaged just falls apart."

Will

Sat Sept 05 2009, 02:09PM

Registered Member #57 Joined: Thu Feb 09 2006, 05:28AM
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 27

"Snap, crackle, BANG."

Read from a description of failure on a field returned piece of equipment when I worked for Cubic.

Z28Fistergod

Sun Sept 20 2009, 03:55AM

Registered Member #2040 Joined: Fri Mar 20 2009, 10:13PM
Location: Fairfax VA
Posts: 180

From wikipedia:

"A device which measures jerk is called a 'jerkmeter.'"

Jerk being the third derivative of the postion function.

Plasma Lover

Sat Sept 26 2009, 06:00AM

Registered Member #1911 Joined: Mon Jan 05 2009, 06:30PM
Location: Salem, Oregon, USA
Posts: 165

From an assessment written by my (moronic) Biology teacher, Mr. Goin:

"Why is it that marsupial mammals only live in Australia?

(a) Continental Drift
(b) Evolution
(c) a&b
(d) Neither a, nor b"

When informed that the opossum is a marsupial, he quickly told me that the question is not asking why (or implying that) Australia is the only continent on which marsupials reside, but the fact remains that the quiz had, written on it explicitly, requested to know why marsupials only existed in Australia. I answered 'd,' as I decided that I would answer what was on the paper. I was handed back the paper, today. That was the only question I was supposedly incorrect on.

On another occasion, this same teacher was giving a lecture (on the first day of school, mind you) on the seasons and the Earth's tilt. Since I live less than ten miles from the 45^th parallel, he said that we would receive about six hours of light and eighteen hours of dark every 24 hours, if the Earth had no tilt. He then continued to say "That's almost twice as much night as day."

I raised my hand and called him on this; I asked him, in front of the class, "Did you just say 'almost twice as much'?"

He was silent for a moment; he seemed to be thinking. He then replied "Yes, that's right."

I proceeded to use my fingers to help him count to eighteen. "Here's six," I say, holding up all the fingers on my right hand and my left index finger. "Now, here's twelve," I continue, putting all of my fingers down except for my right index and thumb. "And here's eighteen, six more." At this point he begins to look annoyed, but still somehow bounces back (a bit) with the comment "Yes, I knew that. I was saying that the equator gets almost twice as much light as us."

In his class, I openly refer to him as a moron when he is not near or in the class.

Backyard Skunkworks

Sat Sept 26 2009, 05:59PM

Registered Member #1262 Joined: Fri Jan 25 2008, 05:22AM
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 451

Well I'll never forget the when I was a high school junior and a local materials science grad student was giving a lecture on plastics and went on to explain how a valence octet was six electrons. When I mentioned the mistake, she began defending the statement until I pointed at a perodic table and everyone started giggling.

I've also seen someone learning to solder trying to pick the iron up by the tip multiple times. I guess they didnt let it warm up enough to cause serious burns!

thedatastream

Sat Sept 26 2009, 07:45PM

Registered Member #505 Joined: Sun Nov 19 2006, 06:42PM
Location: Yorkshire!
Posts: 329

Backyard Skunkworks wrote ...
I've also seen someone learning to solder trying to pick the iron up by the tip multiple times. I guess they didnt let it warm up enough to cause serious burns!

Default quote at work:
"Got any soldering iron tips?"
"Yes, don't hold the hot end"
Boom Boom!

Plasma Lover wrote ...
...Biology teacher...

Enough said.

Plasma Lover wrote ...
...Mr. Goin...

Mr. Groin. heh heh you said groin.

Steve Conner

Sat Sept 26 2009, 08:04PM

Registered Member #30 Joined: Fri Feb 03 2006, 10:52AM
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 6706

thedatastream wrote ...

Mr. Groin. heh heh you said groin.

"Getting kicked in the Wiener is no picnic either" - Beavis and Butt-head

Avalanche

Mon Sept 28 2009, 05:26PM

Registered Member #103 Joined: Thu Feb 09 2006, 08:16PM
Location: Derby, UK
Posts: 845

"how's it going in there?" ... "it's really difficult to scope the gate drive" ... "I know, it's easier when the power is off" ... "yeah, I'm trying not to rest my arm on these 400v posts right here" ... "do you want me to hold your beer for you?" .... "yeah, that would be handy, cheers"

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