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(OT) Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

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LAN_403

Conundrum

Wed Aug 09 2006, 08:15PM

Registered Member #96 Joined: Thu Feb 09 2006, 05:37PM
Location: CI, Earth
Posts: 4062

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the internet which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a Soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can assume all people will go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

regards, -A

Marko

Wed Aug 09 2006, 09:04PM

Registered Member #89 Joined: Thu Feb 09 2006, 02:40PM
Location: Zadar, Croatia
Posts: 3145

I think answer to that question strongly depends on your definition of hell.
Imaginative readng though

And I doubt someone will get an experimental evidence since anyone who may tried to visit hell was probably attacked by a bunch of hungry baatezu.

PS. I think this belongs more to chatting board... ?

Wolfram

Wed Aug 09 2006, 09:49PM

Registered Member #33 Joined: Sat Feb 04 2006, 01:31PM
Location: Norway
Posts: 971

I've read a variation of it before, very funny.

Moved to chatting as it was more appropriate there.

Part Scavenger

Thu Aug 10 2006, 12:06AM

Registered Member #79 Joined: Thu Feb 09 2006, 11:35AM
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 673

LOL! Man, where the heck do you get this stuff?

...

Thu Aug 10 2006, 01:15AM

Registered Member #56 Joined: Thu Feb 09 2006, 05:02AM
Location: Southern Califorina, USA
Posts: 2445

bash.org quote 301963

Conundrum

Sun Aug 13 2006, 12:43PM

Registered Member #96 Joined: Thu Feb 09 2006, 05:37PM
Location: CI, Earth
Posts: 4062

whatshisname: Why does the media insist on calling intelligent design an 'alternative' to the theory of evolution?
That's like saying pancakes are a good alternative to an internal combustion engine.
What units do you use for measuring Godliness?
mediaho: Cleanliness?
whatshisname: I was thinking more along the lines of Jehovahwatts: "It took 47.3 Jehovahwatts to turn that water into wine"
MrNeutron: "Wha. . . what the hell is a Jehovahwatt"
Smallberries: About 103 Jews.
pwhp_67: Are Jehovawatts metric?
jimmyhaha: Commie.

lol!

-A

Bored Chemist

Sun Aug 13 2006, 06:47PM

Registered Member #193 Joined: Fri Feb 17 2006, 07:04AM
Location: sheffield
Posts: 1022

"What units do you use for measuring Godliness?"
I'm not sure, but I think you measure it with a spirit level.

Spurious J

Fri Oct 23 2009, 07:07AM

Registered Member #2367 Joined: Wed Sept 16 2009, 01:07AM
Location:
Posts: 4

I've taken chemistry at the UW, still a student there. Do you have a source for this, or is it more a nebulous rumor?

thedatastream

Fri Oct 23 2009, 10:15AM

Registered Member #505 Joined: Sun Nov 19 2006, 06:42PM
Location: Yorkshire!
Posts: 329

Bored Chemist wrote ...

"What units do you use for measuring Godliness?"
I'm not sure, but I think you measure it with a spirit level.

Off to the old jokes home for you!

Hon1nbo

Sat Oct 24 2009, 11:46PM

Registered Member #902 Joined: Sun Jul 15 2007, 08:17PM
Location: Pacific Northwest USA
Posts: 1042

According to Dante Aligheri, Hell is mostly NOT Fire and Brimstone Anyways, that is only a small portion - and the worst portion is Absolute Zero! - Amazing that this concept of Absolute Zero, in which all motion ceases, was invented by a poet! - so I would call it Endothermic on account that the ice obviously absorbs heat so "Satan" must cool it with his giant wings while eating the three men in Judecca

enough OT for one day!

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