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Registered Member #2906
Joined: Sun Jun 06 2010, 02:20AM
Location: Dresden, Germany
Posts: 727
Go away from your parents asap. You have to do you own mistakes. Help in your life does not help your life. You mom is right however: a decision because of a girl is a mistake. Girls these days. They come and go. Its a very unreliable source of joy. Specially if shes generally pretty be suspicious if she really values relation ship because she might have learned that she can have one anytime she likes. Just be aware: the one who sacrifices more loves more. If you catch yourself giving in too much, stop. Anyways. Its likely your decision is not because of her. Only you know that. When i comes to education it is most important that you can continue your hobby if its related to you later profession. This makes the quality of your education a little less important. Just dont complain about the quality of the teachers or class size. Higher education is complicated. A big part of it is learn to learn on your own. A professor is there to show you what you learn but you have to learn it on your own. People who only survive in a very school-like system and avoid the challenges ob being independent wont become creative problem solvers. They usually become replaceable workers.
Registered Member #3637
Joined: Fri Jan 21 2011, 11:07PM
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 1068
DerAlbi wrote ...
Go away from your parents asap. You have to do you own mistakes. Help in your life does not help your life. You mom is right however: a decision because of a girl is a mistake. Girls these days. They come and go. Its a very unreliable source of joy. Specially if shes generally pretty be suspicious if she really values relation ship because she might have learned that she can have one anytime she likes. Just be aware: the one who sacrifices more loves more. If you catch yourself giving in too much, stop. Anyways. Its likely your decision is not because of her. Only you know that. When i comes to education it is most important that you can continue your hobby if its related to you later profession. This makes the quality of your education a little less important. Just dont complain about the quality of the teachers or class size. Higher education is complicated. A big part of it is learn to learn on your own. A professor is there to show you what you learn but you have to learn it on your own. People who only survive in a very school-like system and avoid the challenges ob being independent wont become creative problem solvers. They usually become replaceable workers.
I'm not worried about my girlfriend leaving me, or me leaving her. We both want this relationship to work out, and we both have recently been through heartbreak and have been supporting each-other very well. I do still understand, never make a decision based off of a girl. And I'm not.
I'd be lying though if I said she wasn't INFLUENCING my decision, a little, but it's not the sole reason why I want to move back to NY, not by any means. Believe me after everything i've been through I don't want to make the same mistake again, so it's not the sole reason why I want to move back. That, and I'd also be helping my grandpa, a LOT, since he's currently living at home by himself since my grandma died a few years ago. I'd be a huge help to him, making sure he's okay and helping take a lot of general house work off of his shoulders.
I also got worried about instate and out of state residency requirements, but I found that if you attended high school for 2 years in NY and graduated there, you're eligible for in state tuition, regardless of what your living situation is. So that takes some pressure off of me, and helps a lot.
And something my parents have constantly been repeating, is that "it's only for "x" years, it's only a short time, etc".
That doesn't make sense to me, because 2-3 years isn't a small amount of time to me, by any means. Example, being, I went away to school, once, for a year, just a year, and I was absolutely MISERABLE there. And that was for a YEAR. I was miserable because I didn't feel like I fit in, I hated the area, and I hated the school. Nothing went right for me there and as such I got out of there as soon as I could.
Registered Member #65
Joined: Thu Feb 09 2006, 06:43AM
Location:
Posts: 1155
Normally I do not reply to this kind of post... However, you will realize several realities of this world:
1. Generally, no one will really care about you or your problems. This is a mixed blessing, as you may change your perspective on family and relationships.
2. “Money can't buy happiness, but it certainly can buy your way out of misery†I paid for university while attending, and certainly saw the advantage of those lucky enough to be living at home. As you get older... there will be fewer people to catch you if you fall, but you are still too young to know what I mean. Being strongly independent means you get to make your own choices outside survival, and actually change your environment.
3. Admitting you are credulous, weak, and easily scammed. Almost every institution is now designed to extract money from students. Do your market-research prior to picking a program of interest, and remember that as an individual you can't change point 1. A plumber now makes more than most engineers or applied scientists. Study hard, choose wisely, and remember the bigger picture inside the halls of rhetoric.
4. Don't compete to be at the bottom. People who irrationally sacrifice/compromise to adapt to bad situations will eventually end up miserable. Sometimes loyalty and honour are meaningless words... when spoken by a fool. Numerous authority figures will try to exploit your need for validation, and few ever regret saying “No†to a bad deal.
5. Relationships are unique, finite, and beautiful. There are good people around all the time, but knowing them may take some insight into your own psychology. Remember your family are people trying their best, and are likely the only exception to point 1 at this time.
6. Most kids won't understand these points, because they are still kids. As you get older, change becomes more difficult, and the options grow more restricted.
7. Asking the internet for help was a mistake, as it contains representatives from every facet of society. You know... lunatics with bizarre hobbies...
Registered Member #11591
Joined: Wed Mar 20 2013, 08:20PM
Location: UK
Posts: 556
Find a place that you like being, doing something you like doing (studying or working) (electronics maybe?), have a look around lots of colleges, unis, etc, and don't let anyone make your decisions for you.
Registered Member #19
Joined: Thu Feb 02 2006, 03:19PM
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 168
Whatever you choose to do, create a plan on paper of how you will accomplish your goal. You may not execute it perfectly but it will be like a compass to help you stay on track.
Besides, writing things out will help you reflect on your thoughts.
IMO Houston has industry and a lot more opportunities. It's roughly 10 times larger than Buffalo. Maybe it's not your city but it takes time for a new place to feel like home.
I've moved a lot and I've found the sooner you make good friends, the more your current location becomes home. Join a run club, rock gym, meetup group...
Registered Member #3637
Joined: Fri Jan 21 2011, 11:07PM
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 1068
I spoke to my mom more about my thoughts, and we both agreed that I should go up to NY for a few months, to live with my grandpa first to get an idea of what things would be like living with him.
Thankfully she heard me out, and after telling her about the increased responsibility thing and how I want to TRY, she seemed to soften her stance on it a bit.
I actually went out on a walk yesterday, to a local "sinkhole" area. It reminded me so much of this old wildlife reserve I went to a lot back in NY, albeit smaller, and not quite as... pretty. ...but that reminder of how I felt back in NY just rekindled that fire to go back so much that at that point, I was basically just, "I'm going back to NY, and no one can stop me."
NY just *is* home to me. No where else feels like it could come close.
And I know, it's unfair to Texas. That being said I did actually live, in North Texas, and grew up in North texas until I was 16. It was not a good time, filled with depression and loneliness that just completely soured my ...view on the state. It feels kind of analogous to, when you go to a restaurant, and they do a terrible job?
And you never want to go back there again. NY was the first time I ever felt like I really fit in, and I loved everything about the state.
Thank you, everyone for your advice and opinions. I'm getting a lot of, "Do what you feel is right" from everyone except for a few people. And I want to do what makes me happy. And going back to NY seems to be that.
Registered Member #2431
Joined: Tue Oct 13 2009, 09:47PM
Location: Chico, CA. USA
Posts: 5639
Carbon_Rod wrote ...
3. Admitting you are credulous, weak, and easily scammed. Almost every institution is now designed to extract money from students. Do your market-research prior to picking a program of interest, and remember that as an individual you can't change point 1. A plumber now makes more than most engineers or applied scientists. Study hard, choose wisely, and remember the bigger picture inside the halls of rhetoric.
I fully agree with this statement, I didnt go to larger (more expensive, meaning supposedly better) institutions as i saw it was just becoming a financial scam past some certain point. That point was when i noticed there were more administrators than professors and support staff. Im waiting for Sally Mae to come apart like the mortgage crisis.
Registered Member #135
Joined: Sat Feb 11 2006, 12:06AM
Location: Anywhere is fine
Posts: 1735
I really like CR's reply, that's great! Good advice.
As a child I loved steam engines, mechanical things, and could not understand how the world around me worked, and I wanted to know all the answers. My grandfather was a mechanical engineer for Northrop, tinkerer, TV repair man, and all-around fix-it guy. My parents had a hand in my desire to become an engineer as well... they did what they could afford, I didn't grow up a rich kid, but we had "just enough".
Ultimately my life-long desire was to become an engineer, it was my goal and my struggle. When I was old enough, my parents didn't push me, they didn't really care other than... "what the hell is taking you so long to graduate... " and "I got my degree in 4 years"
Obviously they didn't understand engineering takes a while.
But I did what I wanted to do, I went to Long Beach State, and it's not a glorious school, but my degree is worth just as much as any other EE degree, Signed by Arnold Schwartzenegger! (actually autopen but whose counting)
I have my degree, I work lousy hours in aerospace.. it is a cool gig.. but you have to put up with a lot of nonsense. I make 6 figures, I keep nothing! Everyone around me is a mooch and really doesn't give a toss about how I feel about it, but that's how family is in my life.
Could you make a bunch of money doing something else, sure. Just be certain that it's something you want to do. It's hard enough just getting-by doing what you want to do, it's even harder when you hate it.
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Some advice, please?
